


Of Words and Craziness

by Westbrook



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Crack, Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, Really Cracky, Seriously I'm Not Kidding On Crack, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, very cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2014-09-23
Packaged: 2018-02-18 11:17:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2346536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Westbrook/pseuds/Westbrook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A brief idea of what would happen if Miles Vorkosigan and Moist von Lipwig were ever to meet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Words and Craziness

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this came from, how good it is or what event it was at. Seriously, my conscious mind wasn't even involved in writing this, I think it just flowed from my brain to my fingers. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Miles Vorkosigan is rightfully the property of Lois McMaster Bujold, and Moist von Lipwig is the property of Terry Pratchett, both of whom are much better writers than I ever shall be. I own nothing, please don't set the lawyers on me!

Words are important. 

Words are how we shape ourselves, our surroundings, our universe. Words can heal, words can delight; words can enrage, words can destroy.  
The greatest of words are often preserved for history, written and endlessly copied on paper, seared into steel or graven into stone. We imagine that words that change everything to be huge and important, blazing across history. And sometimes they, but more often, the most important words, the most powerful ones, are small words, everyday words, uttered by people who do not know their meaning.  
This was one of those times. 

 

It was a simple and unremarkable phrase, uttered at an amazing and utterly remarkable party. It was an introduction between two men, one dressed in gray and the other in gold. 

“Count Miles Vorkosigan, meet Mr. Moist von Lipwig.”

And the universe trembled. 

 

Excerpt from Police & Security Report, GG29-B/Q-327951 (Hereafter known simply as “The Incident”):

Witnesses later described the two men, after shaking hands and exchanging greetings, as becoming involved in intense conversation. This conversation eventually led to both Count Vorkosigan and Mr. von Lipwig sitting at a table, with drinks in hand, deep in discussion. 

Witnesses also reported that at one point, both men had “enormous, identical smiles which made me shiver,” a description which proved to be both surprisingly accurate and universal.

Events that followed can, to a one, be put down to the instigation of Count Vorkosigan and Mr. von Lipwig, as seen in Boxes 1-37 of this report. 

End Excerpt. 

 

After all of the running around, explosions, shouting, wheeling and dealing, bargaining, pleading, and in some cases outright begging were concluded, both Miles and Moist were returned to their respective worlds-Miles in a gold suit with a new escort of employees, Moist in a gray one (after several cases of mistaken identity)-with a piece of paper that read, in large, bold, italicized, underlined letters:  
 ** _NEVER AGAIN!!!!!_**


End file.
